Not feeling myself at all today. So tired and I've been emotionally put through the ringer once again, poor Jim has been pretty hard going this afternoon, screaming on and off and seemingly without reason, at least not one I can fully understand. Pete and I have portage coming over Friday to observe him at home, hopefully it'll help us long term if an official diagnosis is required. I love him so god damn much, but I feel immense pressure and so much stress I cry most days. Josh has very specific needs and I am so desperate for both my children to have equal help and support that they need and deserve, especially from me, as their mother I just want to be the best I can be. If Jim is Autistic too then I know it's going to be so hard to balance their individual needs, it's all overwhelming me. I wish I could be tougher then I am.