hanna | 20 days ❥
today was horrid.
i had one of the worst panic attacks ever. at lunch, there's a group of potheads who're loud, disrespectful, rude, and think they're funny. i've been told off by them for my gay pride shirts, the way my hair is, my body, etc., and so me, being angry and fed up with their shit for weeks upon weeks, i yell at them.
"shut the fuck up."
the words left my lips without me processing them. they didn't hear me the first time, so me being the dumbass i am, i yelled it again. the fear i felt had started the attack, from then my heart began to thud wildly at the realization that they actually heard. here's a tip: don't say something if you aren't brave enough to handle the consequences, like myself. immediately their entire table looked at me and i stood to throw my trash away, desperate to leave. i was then half followed across the cafeteria, insults thrown towards me. i sat back down in my seat and from then on, i was almost jumped, was cursed at, called names, and was made fun of. i couldn't breathe, talk, or move unless i were shaking- my heart was pounding so hard and i felt so insecure. they came over to our table, kept fucking with my friends and i, and so my good friend texted her boyfriend. he came from class in a matter of seconds; he's tall, slim yet muscular, has a very sharp jawline, and he looked as though he were going to kill someone. the second my friend said that someone messed with her, he goes, "no one fucks with my baby or her friends."
he stood and the second he did, the bell rang.
anxiety is consuming me, i don't want to go back to lunch. i'm the cause of a fucking fight because i'm stupid.
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